EXTERNAL FACTORS

The environment or life events can also be a serious cause of psychological infertility. For example, if a man or woman has not lived in the happiest family, they may psychologically deny the need to have a family, which leads to psychological infertility. Very often it is the woman who fears pregnancy, and it is the woman’s health factor that is often associated with psychological infertility. There could be many reasons for this: a difficult relationship with a partner, a lack of trust or confidence in the future. All of these can lead to a woman simply not being able to have children, even if she wants to.

FEAR OF CHANGE

Fear of change plays a huge role for both parents-to-be. This is not surprising, because when a child is born, one’s life changes forever: once you become parents, your life will no longer be your own; all of your energy will be spent raising the child. Some men and women are not ready for this responsibility, even if they cannot admit it to themselves. The result is a serious conflict of interest: on the one hand, such people want to have children or are forced to do so by public pressure; on the other hand, they do not want to lose their independence. The result is psychological infertility, which protects them from such major stresses as abrupt life changes.

CHALLENGE

As paradoxical as it may sound, sometimes the desire for children can be the cause of psychological infertility. But we’re not just talking about a conscious desire to become a father or a mother, we’re talking about fixation.  If you really want to have children, watch your diet and lifestyle, have sex only on the calendar, and constantly worried if this time it was not possible to conceive, your chances of becoming a happy parent are greatly reduced.

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For this reason, in particular, it is very common for women who have been unable to conceive for a long time to become pregnant after adopting a child from an orphanage. It seems almost miraculous, but in fact this is how they realise their desire to become a mother. As a result, the fixation disappears, the psychological state is normalised and the woman is able to conceive a child. So if you have heard a story about a couple managing to have a baby of their own after adopting a child, it is likely that their problem was psychological infertility.

HOW TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM?

The only way to overcome psychological infertility is to learn to enjoy your life as it is. Being fixated on the need to have children leads to nothing but neuroses. Before you have a child, you need to learn to appreciate what you already have, as clichéd as it sounds.

A child should come into a happy family, full of good emotions and happiness. And if the centre of the universe for you right now is already fanatical about having a baby, it means that you don’t feel like a happy person. A professional can help you cope with this. You should not hesitate to turn to a professional when you need psychological help and support. There are situations in which just the advice of a close friend will not help, you need expert advice. A psychologist will help you to understand what you really want, and how to escape from the clutches of psychological infertility.

Joyce Laroche