A study concludes that the more communicative and empathetic men and women try to be in their relationships, the happier the relationship is.

A man feels best when his wife:

• is good at communicating, which makes her happy in the relationship
• that she expresses it in a way that he can easily read
• and the very best thing for the man is that he can feel, that it is him who has made her happy

Women, on the other hand, want to know when the man is upset. While it is uncomfortable for the man to express these feelings, it does mean that the women feel more comfortable in the relationship. It also makes them feel more understood.

Women and men also share similar feelings about the impact of the relationship on their own well-being.

Better communication in the relationship (as we say in Danish: Bedre kommunikation i parforhold) and understanding of the gender differences are essential for the success of the relationship.

Women want to feel that their man has their best interest at heart and that they are the priority for him. The man can feel more relaxed, the wife can be more free, if she also has a free man.

“How do I make my husband listen to me?” is a question that you may have been asking yourself, but this will not happen if the husband is not attuned to the feelings of his wife and he becomes absent minded about how the wife feels.

This means that he becomes insensitive, which means that his wife may feel that he is rejecting her feelings and he will not react appropriately to her.

To make sure this doesn’t happen, you need to take some action, and this means that you must develop good listening skills in the relationship.  If that is too difficult doing on your own, you might consider help in the form of for example parterapi couple therapy.

Doing it by yourself could be saying simple things like “will you do me the courtesy of listening to me?” Once you get your husband’s attention, you can say more personal things such as “you make me so sad when you leave the house.” Once you have made your point, then you can say more general things like “you always leave home before me, what’s the deal?” This way, you don’t need to be so direct, which will make the husband receptive to listening to you.

But if the husband is not receptive to listening, then you have to go the extra mile and reach out for help. So what is couple therapy about?

First of all it is better communication in the relationship so you understand each other. Couple therapy is strategies and tools.

Do you see the major causes of marriage breakup? There are many more causes but these are the most common ones. If you want to prevent your marriage from breaking up, you have to be a proactive and a caring partner.

The gender differences are very important and that couples who have agreed on these differences are more successful than those who did not.

There’s a whole lot more that you need to do to make a husband decide between you and his own fears and concerns, but you’ve done a good job of getting your husband to notice how much you’ve changed. Now it’s time to move your husband towards wanting what you want and that is easily done in couple therapy.

Sheri gill