Being friends with someone -irrespective of their sexual orientation or status, is something that comes naturally to most of us. Many times, we try to adhere to the golden rule by reciprocating the kindness they show to us.

When it comes to certain aspects like going against society and parlaying with a transgender person, there are a few thing you should know. Among other things, the following tips will help you flow seamlessly with any kind of person.

Reciprocate the Kindness they Show you

As cheesy as this point sounds, allowing your trans friends to feel that you harbor no judgement, allows them to really connect with you. Put out vibes and attitudes that reflect what you truly expect.

Always remember that trans people love themselves. While this may be true for some, a good number of other transgender people tolerate their bodies, and feel like they’re closer to their true self when they make the transition. Whatever you do, don’t trivialize this process. It might be completely meaningless to you, but it is something completely life-changing for them, so be there for them. Support them.

Don’t Assume Or Trivialize Their Pronouns

This is the part where many people get it wrong in relationships and friendships today. Assumptions and jumping to conclusions are a huge turn-off for people of different genders, and trans people feel less inclined to share if you’re just gonna assume.

Assuming their pronouns is one of the worst things you can do when addressing a transgender person. In a way, it implies that you have not taken time to accept or understand their preferences when it comes to pronouns, and that’s bad for any friendship.

Ask them how they prefer to be addressed, and do well to remember it. Try to avoid making jokes that could trivialize their struggles as well.

Keep Believing In Them

Having friends that are transgender may expose you and your friend to unkind words from people who do not understand. In that case, what you need to do is to show them that you’ll be there for them. Show them that they’re loved, and they are precious. Let them see and feel that you’re willing to be their safe place when the pressure’s mounting.

The Room For Improvement After Making Mistakes

People make mistakes all the time, and that is okay. It is what you do after those mistakes that sets you apart, and attracts  like-minded people.

When you make a mistake like addressing someone with the wrong pronouns, you may upset them, or spark some uncomfortable internal dilemmas. When you notice this, the best thing to do is to take responsibility for your mistake, and apologize for it.

Many times, people feel very protective of certain aspects of their identities, and a transgender person is no different. Own up to your faults, and do better.

On a final note, remember that transgender people are first people, and their feelings are valid. The key is respect.

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Clare Louise